第876章 进火葬厂

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp维嘎陪了金胖子一个星期&nbsp&nbsp最后一天她建议金胖子用“伟哥”试一试&nbsp&nbsp金胖子吃完“伟哥”&nbsp&nbsp犹如蛤蟆成jīng&nbsp&nbsp眼睛突起&nbsp&nbsp脖子变粗&nbsp&nbsp肚皮里泉水滚滚&nbsp&nbsp自己都沒动手裤子自动脱落&nbsp&nbsp金胖子玩了一个董哥炸碉堡的动作&nbsp&nbsp一把手将维嘎的一条白腿举起&nbsp&nbsp侧身进入

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp维嘎立刻就有了感觉&nbsp&nbsp像一条白牛一样爬在那里&nbsp&nbsp金胖子得瑟完&nbsp&nbspjīng尽人亡&nbsp&nbsp嗝喽一声就掉到床下

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp丧事现场堆满了人头&nbsp&nbsp所有同学都去了&nbsp&nbsp花圈铺满一条街&nbsp&nbsp灵棚搭建的又高又大&nbsp&nbsp棺材上镶满了好看的花纹&nbsp&nbsp金胖子的遗像挂在棺材的顶头&nbsp&nbsp还带着一丝笑傲江湖的狂劲儿&nbsp&nbsp大侠的亲人们穿白戴孝&nbsp&nbsp守在灵棚前哭声震天

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp其中金太太哭得最激烈&nbsp&nbsp说你个该死的为何要提前离开人世&nbsp&nbsp留下我一个人咋活呀&nbsp&nbsp我这辈子究竟该欠了谁&nbsp&nbsp为什么半路地竟让我守寡啊&nbsp&nbsp二小看到这个情景&nbsp&nbsp上去搀扶金太太&nbsp&nbsp拍了拍她的屁股说大妹子&nbsp&nbsp不要难过了&nbsp&nbsp人已经走了再哭也沒用&nbsp&nbsp看有合适的以后再找一个呗

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军在一旁踢了二小一脚&nbsp&nbsp说现在人家多么痛苦&nbsp&nbsp你丫还说风凉话&nbsp&nbsp你不会有病

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp二小白了唐军一眼&nbsp&nbsp脖子梗的直直的&nbsp&nbsp认为自己根本沒有说错&nbsp&nbsp这次丧事二小是总管&nbsp&nbsp小子忙里忙外&nbsp&nbsp负责安排一天全部事情&nbsp&nbsp第三天金胖子的死体要火化&nbsp&nbsp二小还要考虑到去火葬场的路线&nbsp&nbsp避免走繁华地带出现堵车现象

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp共安排了二十辆豪华轿车&nbsp&nbsp最次也是沃尔沃&nbsp&nbsp护送金胖子的遗体去火葬场&nbsp&nbsp二小问唐军这场面怎么样&nbsp&nbsp气势&nbsp&nbsp唐军说一般&nbsp&nbsp要是你死了&nbsp&nbsp我给你安排至少一百辆宝马级别的轿车&nbsp&nbsp同时让联合国给你丫降半旗&nbsp&nbsp比这要隆重的多

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp旁边一位老太当场笑得假牙脱落&nbsp&nbsp脚后跟痒痒&nbsp&nbsp走路更罗圈腿了&nbsp&nbsp二小气得疝气成了擂鼓的槌子&nbsp&nbsp当啷当啷的晃动

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp等到了火葬场&nbsp&nbsp金胖子的尸体先是停在停尸房内&nbsp&nbsp不到二十分钟后&nbsp&nbsp就见火化房上方的烟筒&nbsp&nbsp犹如炼油厂一样浓烟滚滚&nbsp&nbsp二小叹口气&nbsp&nbsp说二百多斤一个胖子就这样变成红烧肉被化为灰烬&nbsp&nbsp唐军说走&nbsp&nbsp还留恋啥

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp一回头&nbsp&nbsp看到金胖子曾经用金钱喂饱了的十几位小情人还站在那里不肯离去&nbsp&nbsp他们仰望火葬场上方滚滚浓烟&nbsp&nbsp一手摸胸&nbsp&nbsp一手擦抹眼泪&nbsp&nbsp好像各个对金胖子的离世都难过至极&nbsp&nbsp每走一步&nbsp&nbsp高跟鞋留下的声音都显得那么沉重

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp突然摇钱树倒了&nbsp&nbsp又馋又懒的美女们肯定要难过&nbsp&nbsp说实话&nbsp&nbsp再碰这样一个大款就不是那么容易了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军心想金胖子的下面估计也是杆金枪&nbsp&nbsp究竟枪挑多少美女&nbsp&nbsp估计他自己也记不清了&nbsp&nbsp外面私生子应该沒有一个连&nbsp&nbsp也有一个排了&nbsp&nbsp最大的至少也有8岁了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp出了火葬厂&nbsp&nbsp外面就是一片麦子地&nbsp&nbsp唐军解开裤子撒了尿&nbsp&nbsp旁边有位四岁的小朋友估计不是金胖子的侄子就是他的外甥也在撒尿&nbsp&nbsp唐军问我尿过的麦子为什么会长高呢&nbsp&nbsp小朋友笑着说因为它得到你的爱&nbsp&nbsp吸收了你的营养&nbsp&nbsp当然长得高哦

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军笑了&nbsp&nbsp说娃娃真聪明&nbsp&nbsp吃化肥吃得&nbsp&nbsp这么早都懂得爱情了&nbsp&nbsp很有发展前途哟

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp上回唐军在商场门口就遇到过一位十岁的小男孩儿&nbsp&nbsp拽住他nǎinǎi的胳膊问&nbsp&nbspnǎinǎinǎinǎi&nbsp&nbsp是不是男人和女人一亲嘴下面小鸡就变大&nbsp&nbspnǎinǎi当时脸就yīn了下來&nbsp&nbsp“沒教养&nbsp&nbsp你这么小怎么不学点好&nbsp&nbsp等回去我才告你妈&nbsp&nbsp非好好的教训你不可&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp小男孩一下子就像被霜打了&nbsp&nbsp立刻蔫了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军心想现代孩子都早熟啊&nbsp&nbsp返回市里&nbsp&nbsp老同学们难得聚在一起&nbsp&nbsp二小建议饭店里临时举办同学会&nbsp&nbsp热闹一回

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp生活节奏快&nbsp&nbsp平时同学们哪里有时间聚在一起&nbsp&nbsp大家的工作各行各业的都有&nbsp&nbsp说白了&nbsp&nbsp全都为“命”奔忙着

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp有一位男同学离异&nbsp&nbsp至今未婚&nbsp&nbsp二小朝他开玩笑说&nbsp&nbsp金胖子媳妇现在不是空了吗&nbsp&nbsp你找了她得了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp同学笑了笑&nbsp&nbsp“别跟我扯淡了&nbsp&nbsp金胖子在世时属于千万富翁&nbsp&nbsp老婆是富太太&nbsp&nbsp她过惯了养尊处优的生活怎么能嫁给我&nbsp&nbsp况且我也摆弄不了人家&nbsp&nbsp我自己吃几碗干饭还不知道吗&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp二小说如果你自卑不敢高攀&nbsp&nbsp那找位乡下的女子也行啊&nbsp&nbsp同学摇摇头&nbsp&nbsp不要再说这个话題好不好&nbsp&nbsp你丫是饱汉子不知道饿汉子饥&nbsp&nbsp里面有很多事情跟你说你都不懂&nbsp&nbsp二小说好好&nbsp&nbsp我也是为了你&nbsp&nbsp只要你能忍受住光棍的生活就行

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp说完&nbsp&nbsp二小又站起來挥动他的胖手&nbsp&nbsp同学们静一静&nbsp&nbsp今天大家难得聚在一起&nbsp&nbsp我建议吃好喝好的同时&nbsp&nbsp男女自己配对进包房&nbsp&nbsp沒有配上对的跟我走&nbsp&nbsp咱去夜总会&nbsp&nbsp今天所有娱乐活动我都包了&nbsp&nbsp只要你们能玩痛快

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp一位高个子男生站起來朝二小反驳道：“我他妈最膈应的就是同学聚完会去娱乐场所&nbsp&nbsp好像人活着就是为了‘打洞’&nbsp&nbsp难道就沒有别的内容可交流吗&nbsp&nbsp金胖子不就是有点钱sāo包每天搞女人&nbsp&nbsp这不也去了西天&nbsp&nbsp像二小这样的思想也快追赶金胖子了&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp二小被气得嘴都歪了&nbsp&nbsp唇上刁的那根中华烟差点烫了他的鼻子&nbsp&nbsp他马上向大家解释说我刚才的话还需要补充一下&nbsp&nbsp正人君子除外

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp高个子同学朝二小冷笑一声&nbsp&nbsp沒有继续发言&nbsp&nbsp他看见唐军坐在那里不表态&nbsp&nbsp凑过去搭话道：“唐市长认为我说的对吗&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军说对&nbsp&nbsp二小就是一个粗人&nbsp&nbsp除了玩女人不会别的&nbsp&nbsp不要搭理他&nbsp&nbsp我们坐着继续聊天

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp高个子跟唐军聊了一会儿&nbsp&nbsp紧跟着凑过來好几位女生&nbsp&nbsp有位用臀部直接顶他的胯&nbsp&nbsp娇声的说唐书记看我能调到你们哪里工作吗

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军看了她一眼&nbsp&nbsp为难的说你在卫生局不是挺好吗&nbsp&nbsp为何要换工作&nbsp&nbsp女同学说时间长了就干腻了&nbsp&nbsp很想换个地方

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军说现在不好说&nbsp&nbspzhèng&nbspfǔ里不缺人&nbsp&nbsp等有了退休的再说&nbsp&nbsp好吗&nbsp&nbsp女同学立刻不说话了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp又一位女生搭话道唐市长给我帮个忙吗&nbsp&nbsp我家老爷子想办个残疾证&nbsp&nbsp苦苦办不了&nbsp&nbsp今天正好遇到你

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐问你家老汉是残疾人吗&nbsp&nbsp她说不是&nbsp&nbsp但想成为残疾人&nbsp&nbsp这样可以享受很多国家优惠待遇的

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军明白她的意思&nbsp&nbsp说你这个事不难&nbsp&nbsp这个星期五下午去我办公室找我&nbsp&nbsp女生感激的跟陀螺似的跳了起來&nbsp&nbsp连说谢谢

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp唐军坐在那里成了临时上访办公室&nbsp&nbsp好多人都过來求他帮忙&nbsp&nbsp二小一看&nbsp&nbsp唐军被层层围困很尴尬&nbsp&nbsp立刻帮他解围道：“大家静一静&nbsp&nbsp今天主要娱乐为主&nbsp&nbsp不要谈私事或工作上的事&nbsp&nbsp那些事下去再谈好吗&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp大家还挺自觉&nbsp&nbsp立刻不敢再围攻唐军&nbsp&nbsp二小端起酒杯说&nbsp&nbsp“來&nbsp&nbsp让我们大家一起先喝个团聚酒&nbsp&nbsp”说完&nbsp&nbsp一饮而尽&nbsp&nbsp然后剑南chūn酒进入大肠慢慢变成一尿液&nbsp&nbsp最后归入马桶里

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp二小总是在酒场上喜欢说这样一句话&nbsp&nbsp“再丰盛的酒席最后都要变成一堆臭大粪要排泄掉&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp往往这个时候唐军插嘴反驳他：“那你就不要吃好的了&nbsp&nbsp每天到下水道里捞着吃呗&nbsp&nbsp”

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