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章四百一十一 狐仙的曾经

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我才知道原來在宋道明之前&nbsp&nbsp狐仙早已邂逅过无数个宋道明&nbsp&nbsp也有过类似的亲朋好友&nbsp&nbsp有朴素单纯的农民&nbsp&nbsp也有地方的地主、贵族&nbsp&nbsp或是流浪的乞丐&nbsp&nbsp或是揭竿而起的起义军……

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我甚至还看到了一名姿容气质完全不亚于狐仙的女子&nbsp&nbsp有着一些西方女子的特征&nbsp&nbsp和李鸿章苍老的面容一同闪现&nbsp&nbsp但是转瞬即逝&nbsp&nbsp无法捕捉……

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我还看到了一道给我无与伦比恐怖压力的诡异身影&nbsp&nbsp那道模糊的身影可大可小&nbsp&nbsp突然变成了穿着古怪的小男孩&nbsp&nbsp又突然变成了银发银须的老人……

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp最后&nbsp&nbsp我看到了宋道明&nbsp&nbsp和狐仙一起在一间散发着药草气息的药房里微笑着相视&nbsp&nbsp而狐仙则是耐心地指着课本教导着年纪不到五岁的道明说话识字&nbsp&nbsp背诵《梵网经》……

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp最后&nbsp&nbsp是一张我无比熟悉的男子的脸

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp那个人&nbsp&nbsp我一眼就认出來了&nbsp&nbsp是我

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“够了……别再……窥视我的记忆了……出去……”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp一道娇脆的女子声音突然在我的耳边响起

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我一个激灵&nbsp&nbsp大脑如凉水倾倒一般瞬间清醒&nbsp&nbsp周围的所有画面全都如同银瓶泻水一般消失飞散&nbsp&nbsp周围的一切都重新的变得明亮而清新起來&nbsp&nbsp雾化和傻瓜相机的模糊状态彻底消失了&nbsp&nbsp当我重新获得了自己的意识时&nbsp&nbsp我发现自己已经站在了原來的房间里&nbsp&nbsp狐仙正裹着被子坐在我的床zhōng&nbspyāng静静地看着我&nbsp&nbsp眼神中带着几分的怨怼&nbsp&nbsp几分的羞恼&nbsp&nbsp也有几分的倦怠&nbsp&nbsp她一只手拢着被子&nbsp&nbsp却沒有拢紧&nbsp&nbsp如若凝脂肪的肌肤和大半个酥rǔ&nbsp&nbsp连同两弯优雅的锁骨暴露在外&nbsp&nbsp随着狐仙一起一伏的呼吸而蠕动着

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我定了定神&nbsp&nbsp沉静地看着满脸羞恼&nbsp&nbsp眸光慌乱的狐仙&nbsp&nbsp道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“刚才那些……是你的记忆&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp狐仙瞅了我一眼&nbsp&nbsp别过脸去&nbsp&nbsp一头黑发侧对着我&nbsp&nbsp目光在床沿上游离着

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“不错&nbsp&nbsp”狐仙镇定地道&nbsp&nbsp但是语气显得有几分的急促&nbsp&nbsp语调比之平常也有些变声&nbsp&nbsp“你都看到了&nbsp&nbsp我过去的那些……事……”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我点了点头:“沒全看清&nbsp&nbsp只是零散的闪回&nbsp&nbsp但是多少还是知道了一些你的过去……原來&nbsp&nbsp你遭受过……那么多的……”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“王一生&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我的厄难二字还沒出口&nbsp&nbsp狐仙却朱唇翕启&nbsp&nbsp轻轻打住了我的话语&nbsp&nbsp晶莹若雪的肌肤上&nbsp&nbsp泛着几分的粉sè&nbsp&nbsp而在脸颊上还带着几颗璀璨莹润的汗珠&nbsp&nbsp一股与平常截然不同的异样芬芳香气弥漫在房间之中&nbsp&nbsp虽然淡&nbsp&nbsp但是我还是能够闻出來&nbsp&nbsp那股味道&nbsp&nbsp有点像是三sè堇

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“刚才那些算是怎么回事&nbsp&nbsp为什么我能够看到你的记忆……而且&nbsp&nbsp也不算是记忆&nbsp&nbsp因为那些场景的视角&nbsp&nbsp好像不是从你的角度看出去……”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“那是别人的记忆&nbsp&nbsp别人看到的记忆&nbsp&nbsp关于我的记忆&nbsp&nbsp”狐仙淡淡地道&nbsp&nbsp一只手轻轻地撩起紧紧裹着的床单&nbsp&nbsp叠着褶皱的被单从狐仙的宛若秋兰的手掌心缓缓流泻而下&nbsp&nbsp“我能够进入任何看到过我的人的记忆里……这也与我的第七种妖术有关……”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“你的第七种妖术&nbsp&nbsp到底是……什么&nbsp&nbsp”我眯着眼看着狐仙

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp狐仙却是将嘴唇抿成了一条线&nbsp&nbsp别过脸去&nbsp&nbsp眼神涣散&nbsp&nbsp沒有回答我的提问

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp静静地坐在床上的狐仙&nbsp&nbsp就像是一尊jīng致的陶瓷娃娃

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“为什么我会进入你的记忆里&nbsp&nbsp”我继续问道

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp这一次&nbsp&nbsp狐仙回答了我&nbsp&nbsp她斜目滑过來&nbsp&nbsp看了我一眼&nbsp&nbsp用嚅腻的声音道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“大概是身体有恙时&nbsp&nbsp妖术有些不稳……过去也有过几次&nbsp&nbsp现在好些了&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp定了定&nbsp&nbsp狐仙忽然转过脸來&nbsp&nbsp用一种非常古怪的笑容看着我&nbsp&nbsp似笑非笑地掀起了薄唇的一角&nbsp&nbsp道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“王一生&nbsp&nbsp看到了方才那些&nbsp&nbsp你认为我还是个心思纯良的女人么&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“怎么说&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp狐仙媚笑着看着我&nbsp&nbsp但是眼神里却是弄得化不开的悲哀与苍凉:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“我也犯过错&nbsp&nbsp我也失落过&nbsp&nbsp我也迷茫过&nbsp&nbsp我也冷漠过&nbsp&nbsp我也做过很多丑陋的事……抛弃过很多人&nbsp&nbsp也夺走了很多人的xìng命&nbsp&nbsp无数情难自制的男子因我而受伤……这样的我&nbsp&nbsp你觉得还干净么&nbsp&nbsp真的能在阳光下肆无忌惮地呼吸已故人留下的空气么&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“你很干净&nbsp&nbsp你又不是荒yín无度的叶卡特琳娜二世或者借女上位的玛丽亚.特蕾西亚传&nbsp&nbsp有什么不干净的&nbsp&nbsp”我定定地道&nbsp&nbsp“而且&nbsp&nbsp这个世界上沒有干净的人&nbsp&nbsp男人本质上是一种进攻xìng的动物&nbsp&nbsp他们受到伤害和你的美貌无关&nbsp&nbsp而是因为他们自己的**咎由自取罢了&nbsp&nbsp而且单纯不过是无能胆怯者掩饰自己**免受伤害的幕帘而已&nbsp&nbsp大多数人存在的本能就只有**和趋利避害&nbsp&nbsp对你來说&nbsp&nbsp你够干净了&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp狐仙嗤然一笑&nbsp&nbsp撩拨着秀发&nbsp&nbsp美眸看着我&nbsp&nbsp轻轻地道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“**&nbsp&nbsp人真的能摆脱**么&nbsp&nbsp王一生&nbsp&nbsp人的生存本能也是一种**啊&nbsp&nbsp如果消除了**&nbsp&nbsp人就沒有存在的必要了&nbsp&nbsp你要否定人的存在么&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp狐仙的话终于让我一愣&nbsp&nbsp一种观念上的差距让我有种凉风吹面的感觉

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我呆呆地站立在原地&nbsp&nbsp内心里一直沒有想通的某个问題&nbsp&nbsp此刻却是似乎有些豁然开朗了

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp看到我呆立原地的模样&nbsp&nbsp狐仙捧起她的那一头黑发&nbsp&nbsp苦然笑道:“呐&nbsp&nbsp王一生&nbsp&nbsp我问你&nbsp&nbsp自从你得到勾魂术以來……你可曾幸福过么&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp你可曾幸福过么

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp这个饱受诟病的俗套而偏政治xìng问題从狐仙的嘴里说出來&nbsp&nbsp却带着几分审问和人生哲学的意味&nbsp&nbsp一时间&nbsp&nbsp我居然答不上來

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp辗转思量后&nbsp&nbsp我才勉强道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“正是因为人人都只知道追求自己的幸福&nbsp&nbsp这个社会才会演变成现在的这副模样&nbsp&nbsp有时候人不能只知道追求自己的幸福&nbsp&nbsp更要背负起责任&nbsp&nbsp能力越大责任越大&nbsp&nbsp这话不是假的&nbsp&nbsp有时候&nbsp&nbsp懂的放弃幸福的人才是真正的幸福&nbsp&nbsp我不是形式主义也不是形式虚无主义&nbsp&nbsp但是我认为幸福这个词是更表象流于形式的东西&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp我长长出了一口气:“经历了这么多事后&nbsp&nbsp我也已经理xìng很多了&nbsp&nbsp虽然有时候情绪还在作祟&nbsp&nbsp但是比起从前&nbsp&nbsp我已经更能掌控自己的情绪&nbsp&nbsp总有一天&nbsp&nbsp我能够做到彻底冷酷地面对这个世界&nbsp&nbsp我希望每个人都懂得去背负责任&nbsp&nbsp那是理xìng人&nbsp&nbsp”

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp对于我的话&nbsp&nbsp这个喜欢用幽思怅惘表现自己的女人只是轻轻地唉声叹气了一番&nbsp&nbsp老气横秋道:

    &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp“可怜的王一生&nbsp&nbsp”

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