正文 56Chapter 56.世界沉沦
<li> 他们说至亲<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人在离开<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候,因为挂念总会在临别前来见<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一面。
虽然从前,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">总笑着说那些根本就是伪科学<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东西，但这一次,面对着坐在窗台下<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">父亲消失不见,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">却不得不信。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">用手捂着双颊,凝视着这空空如也<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">昏暗房间，连原本还能听见声音<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">耳朵,现在都变得混沌不清，就好像被什么东西堵住了一般，转而代之<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，则是铺天盖地<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">仿佛蝉鸣一般<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">耳鸣。
决堤<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">恐惧，夹杂着扑面<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛苦，那是心灵濒临崩溃<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">信号。
<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">瑟瑟发抖地坐在床上，浑身就好像是浸入了冰水一样，没有一个人，没有一点生气，只有<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一个，在这黑暗<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">丛林中踽踽独行。
那样<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">体验在人生中已经有过一次，而将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">从中拯救出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，也正是将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">推入第二轮痛苦<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">父亲。
“蜜？蜜？？”身体被猛烈地摇晃起来，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无法洞察外界<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">刺激，就像个病入膏肓<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人，可怕<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身体体验正取代着所有感觉，身体里只有木讷，只有呆滞。
直到脸颊上传来一阵火辣<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">才忽然间回过神来，眼睛不由自主地转向了身边<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">那个人，深蓝色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">视界中映出上原老师<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">面孔，瞳孔终于因为干涩而微微翻起些酸意。
“蜜！”女人紧张<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">表情与<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">凝滞<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">表情，就仿佛是失去了记忆一样，在精神极度恍惚<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，甚至在一瞬间都无法确切地意识到对方<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身份。
但很快<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">就伸手抓住了她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">手臂，眼里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">感情简直有吃人<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">力量，在将她拉近<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">带着颤抖<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">声音终于问道：
“父亲，父亲他…他走了？”
“……”对面<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">女人应该能看出<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">精神<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不稳定，她有些犹豫，不知道是不是应该坦率肯定。
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们…<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们说<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">「走了」，究竟…究竟是…什么意思？”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">盯着她，连眨眼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">动作都已经停止。
现在，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">世界只有混乱，而这混乱<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">源头，正是这简单<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">问题。
上田老师表情极度悲伤，她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嘴唇抿得异常紧密，甚至连唇色都开始发白。然而女人却还是在不久之后下定决心。她没有给<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一个保留<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">答案，而是相当确定地重重点了一下头。
手上<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">力气似乎在瞬间便消失不见，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">视线很快就被什么温热<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东西所覆盖，接着它便顺着脸颊滴落，渗入紧咬<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">牙缝时，则被舌尖所品尝。
是咸到涩<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">味道，一种痛苦到发指<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">味道。
如果可以<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">话，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不希望再品尝一次那种味道，明明四年前<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东京病床上，自己就已经像是一个落败<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">士兵，就已经像是一只可怜<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">蚂蚁，就已经卑微地任由命运蹂躏了一次。
多可笑，即便这样默默承担打击，却还要经受更大<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛楚，难道这可恶<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人生一定要将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">切碎么？它一次又一次地挤压<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，一次又一次地将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">努力打消，一次又一次地…剥夺<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦想！
<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嚎啕大哭，这大概是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">四年来第一次撕心裂肺地哭泣，就像是在葬送自己灵魂<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一部分，吊唁它<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">离去，以及恐惧自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">未来。
那种感觉无论是谁，都不会愿意去体验一次。是一种仿佛全都要碎开<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">感受，足够摧毁<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一切意志。
天空塌陷，世界沉沦。从此之后，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦里只有一片光秃秃<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">荒原，昔日<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">阳光、清风、向日葵都将被那跌落于人间<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">太阳所烧灼，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会在花田中发出痛苦<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嘶吼，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会眼睁睁地看着一切慢慢走远，眼睁睁地面对它<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">倾颓，却无能为力。
上田老师拉着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，她将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">死死按在怀里，用力揉着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">后背，被泪水和鼻涕一次次呛到，一边哭泣一边仿佛是要呕出内脏一般地死命喘息。她看出了<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">绝望，但她依然不愿放手，她依然像是一个温柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">女性那样，在拍打着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，也无法忍耐地流起眼泪：
“蜜…阿蜜…阿蜜<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">话，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会…把<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">当成自己女儿<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">……”
“呜——”
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">没有…<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不会<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…不会失去什么<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">还是自由<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…应该是快乐<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">。”语无伦次，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">哭声恐怕早已让她乱了思绪。
她拉住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，陪<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">哭了很久很久。
直到东方出现了一缕极淡<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">白光，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">悲鸣才转为了抽泣。哭累了，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">趴在她肩上，像是一具丢了灵魂<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">躯壳。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">目光空洞地望着对面白色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">墙壁，身体<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">排斥终于降低了一点，可心里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛却越来越浓。
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…看见…他了啊……”声音替代了哭泣，出现在这间屋子<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">肩膀微微耸了一下。
“……”
“看见…爸爸了…啊……”视线默默转向了一边<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">椅子，那藤编<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">圆椅上，被阳光涂上轻薄白光<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">扶手上，似乎还残留着他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">体温。所以眼泪又一次落下，温热得简直要溶蚀<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">。“明明就…明明就…坐在那里……明明就在…就在听<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">说着梦……”
话至一半，流泪又一次无端开始。但这小声<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">呜咽却还是换来了她轻柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">抚摸：
“但他…走了……”
“……”
“胃癌。”
当这两个字凭空出现在空气中<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不可置信。想起最近他总是身体很差，而<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">却竟然连父亲<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">病因都不知道，那种自责铺天盖地地涌来，侵蚀着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">自尊，让<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不得不握紧拳头消解痛苦，愧疚感令<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无处遁形：
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">竟然…竟然连这…都不知道。”像是从牙缝里挤出，说出这句话<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，甚至能够感觉到一种深入骨髓<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛苦。
“这不怪<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，蜜，是伸夫要瞒着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">……<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们其实…其实早就……”
“……”
“大概是…一年前。”空了一秒，“他大概早就料到自己会……”
“…所以才会…有摄影展啊……”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">自嘲地笑了一声。
一切充满讽刺，缀满命运<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">戏谑。这就是人生对于<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">第二次重创，而那时<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">甚至怀疑自己是否还有力气活下去。
因为是真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">累了，有时会想那时候如果不是摔断一条腿，如果是摔碎了头颅，或许就不用再承受这种锥股<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛了。
所以<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无力地垂下了头，眼泪已经流尽，世界上也已经没有了那个绝对真心<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人。就像这深秋<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">清晨，阳光也是凌冽<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">气息。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">扭过头，当光芒封住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">双眼时，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">似乎看到了遥远天空中有什么温柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身影，连接着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦与意识，在<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">面前转身展露微笑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">唇角也不自然地弯起弧度。
“蜜，好好活下去。”混沌之际，他似乎站在光中这样说道。
虽然从前,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">总笑着说那些根本就是伪科学<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东西，但这一次,面对着坐在窗台下<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">父亲消失不见,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">却不得不信。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">用手捂着双颊,凝视着这空空如也<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">昏暗房间，连原本还能听见声音<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">耳朵,现在都变得混沌不清，就好像被什么东西堵住了一般，转而代之<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，则是铺天盖地<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">仿佛蝉鸣一般<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">耳鸣。
决堤<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">恐惧，夹杂着扑面<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛苦，那是心灵濒临崩溃<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">信号。
<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">瑟瑟发抖地坐在床上，浑身就好像是浸入了冰水一样，没有一个人，没有一点生气，只有<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一个，在这黑暗<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">丛林中踽踽独行。
那样<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">体验在人生中已经有过一次，而将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">从中拯救出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，也正是将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">推入第二轮痛苦<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">父亲。
“蜜？蜜？？”身体被猛烈地摇晃起来，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无法洞察外界<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">刺激，就像个病入膏肓<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人，可怕<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身体体验正取代着所有感觉，身体里只有木讷，只有呆滞。
直到脸颊上传来一阵火辣<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">才忽然间回过神来，眼睛不由自主地转向了身边<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">那个人，深蓝色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">视界中映出上原老师<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">面孔，瞳孔终于因为干涩而微微翻起些酸意。
“蜜！”女人紧张<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">表情与<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">凝滞<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">表情，就仿佛是失去了记忆一样，在精神极度恍惚<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，甚至在一瞬间都无法确切地意识到对方<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身份。
但很快<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">就伸手抓住了她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">手臂，眼里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">感情简直有吃人<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">力量，在将她拉近<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">带着颤抖<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">声音终于问道：
“父亲，父亲他…他走了？”
“……”对面<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">女人应该能看出<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">精神<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不稳定，她有些犹豫，不知道是不是应该坦率肯定。
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们…<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们说<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">「走了」，究竟…究竟是…什么意思？”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">盯着她，连眨眼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">动作都已经停止。
现在，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">世界只有混乱，而这混乱<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">源头，正是这简单<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">问题。
上田老师表情极度悲伤，她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嘴唇抿得异常紧密，甚至连唇色都开始发白。然而女人却还是在不久之后下定决心。她没有给<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一个保留<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">答案，而是相当确定地重重点了一下头。
手上<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">力气似乎在瞬间便消失不见，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">视线很快就被什么温热<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东西所覆盖，接着它便顺着脸颊滴落，渗入紧咬<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">牙缝时，则被舌尖所品尝。
是咸到涩<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">味道，一种痛苦到发指<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">味道。
如果可以<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">话，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不希望再品尝一次那种味道，明明四年前<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">东京病床上，自己就已经像是一个落败<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">士兵，就已经像是一只可怜<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">蚂蚁，就已经卑微地任由命运蹂躏了一次。
多可笑，即便这样默默承担打击，却还要经受更大<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛楚，难道这可恶<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人生一定要将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">切碎么？它一次又一次地挤压<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，一次又一次地将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">努力打消，一次又一次地…剥夺<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦想！
<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嚎啕大哭，这大概是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">四年来第一次撕心裂肺地哭泣，就像是在葬送自己灵魂<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一部分，吊唁它<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">离去，以及恐惧自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">未来。
那种感觉无论是谁，都不会愿意去体验一次。是一种仿佛全都要碎开<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">感受，足够摧毁<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">一切意志。
天空塌陷，世界沉沦。从此之后，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦里只有一片光秃秃<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">荒原，昔日<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">阳光、清风、向日葵都将被那跌落于人间<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">太阳所烧灼，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会在花田中发出痛苦<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">嘶吼，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会眼睁睁地看着一切慢慢走远，眼睁睁地面对它<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">倾颓，却无能为力。
上田老师拉着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，她将<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">死死按在怀里，用力揉着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">后背，被泪水和鼻涕一次次呛到，一边哭泣一边仿佛是要呕出内脏一般地死命喘息。她看出了<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">绝望，但她依然不愿放手，她依然像是一个温柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">女性那样，在拍打着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，也无法忍耐地流起眼泪：
“蜜…阿蜜…阿蜜<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">话，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">会…把<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">当成自己女儿<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">……”
“呜——”
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">没有…<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不会<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…不会失去什么<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">还是自由<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…应该是快乐<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">。”语无伦次，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">哭声恐怕早已让她乱了思绪。
她拉住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，陪<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">哭了很久很久。
直到东方出现了一缕极淡<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">白光，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">悲鸣才转为了抽泣。哭累了，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">趴在她肩上，像是一具丢了灵魂<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">躯壳。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">目光空洞地望着对面白色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">墙壁，身体<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">排斥终于降低了一点，可心里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛却越来越浓。
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">…看见…他了啊……”声音替代了哭泣，出现在这间屋子<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">肩膀微微耸了一下。
“……”
“看见…爸爸了…啊……”视线默默转向了一边<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">椅子，那藤编<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">圆椅上，被阳光涂上轻薄白光<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">扶手上，似乎还残留着他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">体温。所以眼泪又一次落下，温热得简直要溶蚀<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">。“明明就…明明就…坐在那里……明明就在…就在听<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">说着梦……”
话至一半，流泪又一次无端开始。但这小声<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">呜咽却还是换来了她轻柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">抚摸：
“但他…走了……”
“……”
“胃癌。”
当这两个字凭空出现在空气中<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不可置信。想起最近他总是身体很差，而<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">却竟然连父亲<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">病因都不知道，那种自责铺天盖地地涌来，侵蚀着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">自尊，让<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">不得不握紧拳头消解痛苦，愧疚感令<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无处遁形：
“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">竟然…竟然连这…都不知道。”像是从牙缝里挤出，说出这句话<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，甚至能够感觉到一种深入骨髓<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">痛苦。
“这不怪<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">，蜜，是伸夫要瞒着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">……<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">们其实…其实早就……”
“……”
“大概是…一年前。”空了一秒，“他大概早就料到自己会……”
“…所以才会…有摄影展啊……”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">自嘲地笑了一声。
一切充满讽刺，缀满命运<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">戏谑。这就是人生对于<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">第二次重创，而那时<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">甚至怀疑自己是否还有力气活下去。
因为是真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">累了，有时会想那时候如果不是摔断一条腿，如果是摔碎了头颅，或许就不用再承受这种锥股<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">疼痛了。
所以<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">无力地垂下了头，眼泪已经流尽，世界上也已经没有了那个绝对真心<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">人。就像这深秋<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">清晨，阳光也是凌冽<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">气息。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">扭过头，当光芒封住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">双眼时，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">似乎看到了遥远天空中有什么温柔<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">身影，连接着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">梦与意识，在<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">面前转身展露微笑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">时候，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com1ca7251a35">唇角也不自然地弯起弧度。
“蜜，好好活下去。”混沌之际，他似乎站在光中这样说道。