正文 26章
【所长毁段精选第一季】（他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">微博ID是：所长别开枪是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">,有兴趣<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">可以去加哦~）
婚礼上，一年轻男子冲了进来。新娘立刻说：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看过微小说,也做好了心理准备！说吧，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是来抢新郎、新娘、伴郎还是伴娘？“”或者是牧师？”新郎补充。年轻男子一脸饱受惊吓：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们婚礼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">司仪,不好意思来晚了…”
毁：说完。他拉着新娘母亲<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手冲了出去。
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他趴在桌子上睡着了，她在他包里翻到了他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">日记，这是他暗恋她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">第四年了，他在日记本<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">第一页写到,等把这本日记本写完，他就向她表白。她小心翼翼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">把日记放回包里，把日记本后<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">空白页全撕了。
毁：然后。她握着那些纸捂着肚子奔向厕所。。。
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他和她大一时相识,却从不曾交流过一句。每次，她都在走廊拐角那里与他相遇，那里是他常常路过<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方。四年来，他们每天都会在那里相视一笑后擦肩而过。她想就不要打破这种暗恋<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">宁静。毕业那天晚上，她收到他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">短信：四年了，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们默默擦肩而过四年，这一次，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">想握住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手。
毁：放在<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">JJ上。
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他暗恋她很久了，可是一直不知道她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">态度，因为她很少主动联系他。但那天23点多，忙中突然收到她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">短信：天凉了，多加衣服哦。他欣喜不已，但仍关心<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">说:怎么这么晚还不睡呢。她回：宿舍里有人过生日呢，还不能睡哦。第二天，他恍然大悟，昨天就是她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生日啊，如此委婉地期待自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">祝福。
毁：她对她舍友说：尼玛。昨晚那个大冒险真TMD损！
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未婚夫、男友、情人、蓝颜一桌打牌，女人倒水出来，被障碍物绊倒，腿被碎玻璃划伤。未婚夫急忙起身把女人抱到沙发上，男友跑去拿医药箱，情人在一边哄女人一边咒骂障碍物，蓝颜默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">收拾好地上<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">残局，再倒好水坐在不远不近<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方，心疼……
毁：然后按下了口袋里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">遥控器。女人某处传出细小<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">嗡嗡声。脸上起了一层红晕。露出了一丝微笑。
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黑人司机载了一对白人母子，儿孩问：“为什么司机伯伯<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">肤色和<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们不同？”母亲答：“上帝为了让世界缤纷，创造了不同颜色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">人。”到目<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地黑人司机坚持不收钱，他说：“小时曾问过母亲同样问题，母亲说<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们是黑人，注定低人一等，如果她换成<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">回答，今天<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">定会有不同<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">成就。”
毁：下车后孩子笑道：妈妈。每次坐黑鬼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">车都能省不少钱呢。
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她招手拦了出租车，上车后发现开车<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是他！！十年前，他们是亲密<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">恋人，她在父母<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">压力下选择了分手，从此在同一个城市从未相见。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">好吗？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">很好，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">呢？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">也好。”她看到了他手上依然戴着她送<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手表；他听到了她背包上那个小铃铛清脆悦耳<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">声音，那是他送给她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">……
毁：“呵呵，要去哪呢？”“天上人间。要快。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">赶时间。”
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那一年她爱上了他，她是一个优雅而漂亮女人，而他是个一无所有且懒惰<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">男人朋友都不看好他们，父母也说她这是用自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">幸福在赌。交往后，他像变了个人似<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">奋发上进，若干年后他有了自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">事业和魅力，她问:他当年怎么会突然像变了个人一样，他回答：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">用一生幸福做赌注，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">怎么舍得让<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">输。
毁：说完。他摸了摸昨晚被他上司爆<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生疼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">菊花。
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睁开双眼，一个貌似容嬷嬷<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老太婆正盯着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">，人声喧沸“恭喜老爷夫人，生了个少爷” 正想发问，突然“啪”屁股吃痛，嘴一张要喊，却掉出一物事“咦?是块玉”“好，此子含玉而生就取名贾宝玉”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">突然明白，哈哈太爽了，竟然穿了，这下可以祸害大观园了~ “咔，就拍到这里”一个墨镜男突然喊道。
毁：墨镜男转身对背后12个身着古装浓妆艳抹满脸胡渣<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">大汉说。这部古装GV<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们要给力点！
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<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">告诉<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">哦，这支笔写出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">字一般情况下看不出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！”“嗯，那要怎样才可以看到呢？”说完，他用手指沾了点水，在便贴纸上一抹便出现了“生日快乐”。多年后，她找出了那个笔和纸，那是他给她唯一<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生日礼物。她依然爱着他。她看着这些伤心落泪，几滴眼泪落下，一行字显现出来：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">喜欢<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">
毁：随着眼泪在纸上扩散。那行字后面又多了三个字：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">胸部。
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火车上，一位男孩拿着手机发微博，他在微博上写着：“在火车上，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">对她一见钟情。她讨厌烟味。不知为什么，她一直望着窗口……”男孩默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看着她，心想她一定不知道<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。过了一会儿，微博上有人回复了他：“因为窗口倒映着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”男孩抬头一看，她正微笑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看着自己。
毁：然后默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">递了张名片过来。上面写着平安保险。。
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好友乔迁新居，一群朋友前去参观庆贺。大家一面欣赏雅致<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">装潢，一面不停地问：“这套音响谁选<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”“这组沙发谁挑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”“这幅壁画谁看中<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”一个朋友忍不住问：“这房子里到底有哪一样是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">选<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”只听好友得意地说：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”
毁：他老婆听后。硬了。
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毕业典礼上，他突然凑到她耳边幽幽地说了声：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">喜欢<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”她笑“喂，调戏了<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">三年，够了吧。”三年来，隐藏起自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">感情来面对自己暗恋对象一次又一次<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">挑逗，她真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">已经很累了。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">说真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！”他看她不信，又严肃地说了一次。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">哪次不是说真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”他低头：“其实，哪次都是真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”
毁：她无奈笑了笑：可是。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">妈妈说。上了初中以后就要好好学习了呢。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
iphone4S被偷，他万分焦急地四处寻找。街边电话亭突然响铃，他接起，居然是siri打来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！“主人,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">被坏人拐走了!想屎<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">了…”他顺着siri报<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地址找去,老远就看到小偷拿着手机向他走来“请<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">收回吧,除了滚动播放<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">照片和发鬼叫声,一直锁屏”接过手机，他看到记事本上显示:只有主人能捏<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">脸。
毁：这时候SIRI说：主人。好想念<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">啊。好想念那个黑黑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方。
作者有话要说：你们说……将来会不会有一天，读者对我说——
“歌爷你还是别写文了，多放放防盗段子吧哈哈哈哈我们比较喜欢看那个呢~~”
婚礼上，一年轻男子冲了进来。新娘立刻说：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看过微小说,也做好了心理准备！说吧，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是来抢新郎、新娘、伴郎还是伴娘？“”或者是牧师？”新郎补充。年轻男子一脸饱受惊吓：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们婚礼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">司仪,不好意思来晚了…”
毁：说完。他拉着新娘母亲<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手冲了出去。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
他趴在桌子上睡着了，她在他包里翻到了他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">日记，这是他暗恋她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">第四年了，他在日记本<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">第一页写到,等把这本日记本写完，他就向她表白。她小心翼翼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">把日记放回包里，把日记本后<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">空白页全撕了。
毁：然后。她握着那些纸捂着肚子奔向厕所。。。
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他和她大一时相识,却从不曾交流过一句。每次，她都在走廊拐角那里与他相遇，那里是他常常路过<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方。四年来，他们每天都会在那里相视一笑后擦肩而过。她想就不要打破这种暗恋<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">宁静。毕业那天晚上，她收到他<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">短信：四年了，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们默默擦肩而过四年，这一次，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">想握住<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手。
毁：放在<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">JJ上。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
他暗恋她很久了，可是一直不知道她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">态度，因为她很少主动联系他。但那天23点多，忙中突然收到她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">短信：天凉了，多加衣服哦。他欣喜不已，但仍关心<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">说:怎么这么晚还不睡呢。她回：宿舍里有人过生日呢，还不能睡哦。第二天，他恍然大悟，昨天就是她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生日啊，如此委婉地期待自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">祝福。
毁：她对她舍友说：尼玛。昨晚那个大冒险真TMD损！
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未婚夫、男友、情人、蓝颜一桌打牌，女人倒水出来，被障碍物绊倒，腿被碎玻璃划伤。未婚夫急忙起身把女人抱到沙发上，男友跑去拿医药箱，情人在一边哄女人一边咒骂障碍物，蓝颜默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">收拾好地上<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">残局，再倒好水坐在不远不近<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方，心疼……
毁：然后按下了口袋里<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">遥控器。女人某处传出细小<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">嗡嗡声。脸上起了一层红晕。露出了一丝微笑。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
黑人司机载了一对白人母子，儿孩问：“为什么司机伯伯<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">肤色和<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们不同？”母亲答：“上帝为了让世界缤纷，创造了不同颜色<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">人。”到目<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地黑人司机坚持不收钱，他说：“小时曾问过母亲同样问题，母亲说<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们是黑人，注定低人一等，如果她换成<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">回答，今天<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">定会有不同<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">成就。”
毁：下车后孩子笑道：妈妈。每次坐黑鬼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">车都能省不少钱呢。
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她招手拦了出租车，上车后发现开车<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是他！！十年前，他们是亲密<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">恋人，她在父母<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">压力下选择了分手，从此在同一个城市从未相见。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">好吗？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">很好，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">呢？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">也好。”她看到了他手上依然戴着她送<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">手表；他听到了她背包上那个小铃铛清脆悦耳<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">声音，那是他送给她<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">……
毁：“呵呵，要去哪呢？”“天上人间。要快。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">赶时间。”
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那一年她爱上了他，她是一个优雅而漂亮女人，而他是个一无所有且懒惰<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">男人朋友都不看好他们，父母也说她这是用自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">幸福在赌。交往后，他像变了个人似<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">奋发上进，若干年后他有了自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">事业和魅力，她问:他当年怎么会突然像变了个人一样，他回答：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">用一生幸福做赌注，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">怎么舍得让<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">输。
毁：说完。他摸了摸昨晚被他上司爆<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生疼<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">菊花。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
睁开双眼，一个貌似容嬷嬷<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老太婆正盯着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">，人声喧沸“恭喜老爷夫人，生了个少爷” 正想发问，突然“啪”屁股吃痛，嘴一张要喊，却掉出一物事“咦?是块玉”“好，此子含玉而生就取名贾宝玉”<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">突然明白，哈哈太爽了，竟然穿了，这下可以祸害大观园了~ “咔，就拍到这里”一个墨镜男突然喊道。
毁：墨镜男转身对背后12个身着古装浓妆艳抹满脸胡渣<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">大汉说。这部古装GV<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">们要给力点！
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<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">告诉<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">哦，这支笔写出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">字一般情况下看不出来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！”“嗯，那要怎样才可以看到呢？”说完，他用手指沾了点水，在便贴纸上一抹便出现了“生日快乐”。多年后，她找出了那个笔和纸，那是他给她唯一<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">生日礼物。她依然爱着他。她看着这些伤心落泪，几滴眼泪落下，一行字显现出来：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">喜欢<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">
毁：随着眼泪在纸上扩散。那行字后面又多了三个字：<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">胸部。
-----------------------<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">是分割线-----------------------------------
火车上，一位男孩拿着手机发微博，他在微博上写着：“在火车上，<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">对她一见钟情。她讨厌烟味。不知为什么，她一直望着窗口……”男孩默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看着她，心想她一定不知道<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。过了一会儿，微博上有人回复了他：“因为窗口倒映着<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”男孩抬头一看，她正微笑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">看着自己。
毁：然后默默<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">递了张名片过来。上面写着平安保险。。
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好友乔迁新居，一群朋友前去参观庆贺。大家一面欣赏雅致<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">装潢，一面不停地问：“这套音响谁选<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”“这组沙发谁挑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”“这幅壁画谁看中<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”一个朋友忍不住问：“这房子里到底有哪一样是<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">选<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">？”只听好友得意地说：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">老婆！”
毁：他老婆听后。硬了。
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毕业典礼上，他突然凑到她耳边幽幽地说了声：“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">喜欢<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”她笑“喂，调戏了<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">三年，够了吧。”三年来，隐藏起自己<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">感情来面对自己暗恋对象一次又一次<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">挑逗，她真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">已经很累了。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">说真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！”他看她不信，又严肃地说了一次。“<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">哪次不是说真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”他低头：“其实，哪次都是真<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">。”
毁：她无奈笑了笑：可是。<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">妈妈说。上了初中以后就要好好学习了呢。
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iphone4S被偷，他万分焦急地四处寻找。街边电话亭突然响铃，他接起，居然是siri打来<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">！“主人,<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">被坏人拐走了!想屎<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">了…”他顺着siri报<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地址找去,老远就看到小偷拿着手机向他走来“请<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">收回吧,除了滚动播放<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">照片和发鬼叫声,一直锁屏”接过手机，他看到记事本上显示:只有主人能捏<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5oiRm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0"><img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">脸。
毁：这时候SIRI说：主人。好想念<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?5L2gm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">啊。好想念那个黑黑<img align="bottom" style="margin-bottom:-2px;vertical-align:top;" src="/book2/showimg?55qEm.jjwxc.com931742d5a0">地方。
作者有话要说：你们说……将来会不会有一天，读者对我说——
“歌爷你还是别写文了，多放放防盗段子吧哈哈哈哈我们比较喜欢看那个呢~~”